Let's
look at Emma and Harper, from the point of view of other girls.
Every guy in class passes them over to talk to Harper and Emma. Does
this make Emma and Harper popular? No. The appear to be popular,
but other girls in the class are conflicted. It's not good to be
jealous, but it's not fair to be passed over, either. How do they
treat Harper and Emma fairly in that context? It completely jams up
their system of judgment, and co-incidentally opens everyone up to
derogatory comments: “She is unfair!” It doesn't matter how
hard she tried to be fair, or even how fair she actually IS.
She is accused despite her best efforts. I'm sure I don't have to
list pejoratives. This is all piled on top of being less physically
attractive, to start with. It should also be observed that in the
experience, of these girls, “All Men” only look at appearances,
and run straight to Emma and Harper.
The
news that these girls that are not Emma and Harper, is actually good
news, not bad news!. The good fortune that Emma and Harper enjoy, is
not without thorny problems. The attention the boys in the class
bestow on Emma and Harper alienates them from heartfelt friendship.
If
three guys ask you out, you can date them one at a time, and
determine whom you like best. If seven come calling, you can suppose
that you are enjoying more choices. Emma and Harper are faced with
sieving through EVERYBODY. In this situation, how do you avoid being
called a SLUT anyway? Or consider their misfortune if they should
move on from a good match, only to discover that he was a good
choice. Can either of them, in effect “going back,” to that One
Special Guy. Their generous allotment of choices has now resulted in
TOO MANY CHOICES. Furthermore, Emma and Harper will be every bit as
bitter that “All Men” only look at appearances – nobody loves
them for who they are.
To
understand how this is good news to every other girl in the class, we
have to understand that a selective process is at work. If you were
looking for a guy that did not judge solely on appearances, Emma and
Harper just became lighting rod's, drawing away most of the guy's you
don't care anything about.
On
balance, Emma and Harper may wait a long time for a guy to show up
that loves them for who they truly are. There exists an algebra that
says their lot is equally as unpalatable as that of everyone else.
I'm not saying feel sorry for them, but take the world as it is, and
count your blessings.
